We all are always taught of one concept of life- ‘you have got only one life, and there is no after’. No one wants to suffer (suffering could be anything that distorts our mental peace) and everyone wants to be loved; but the truth is, we hurt those who love us the most and vice-versa. No one is happy and everyone gets to play the victim- at least once in this game of obtaining love and sexual pleasure.
But guess what? We are humans! And we are intelligent! We know how to avoid bad things and scoop the best part- cuddle and sex! In 1991, for the first time, the term “FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS” was used and has been trending ever since. It means the amalgamation of a ‘platonic’ relationship and a ‘casual’ sexual relationship. Without a commitment or ‘no strings attached’ in a nutshell.
FWB (friends with benefits) is not a single term; it is a multitude of different forms of relationships that fall under this category. According to the Journal of Sex Research, there are seven different forms of FWBs-
True friends
These are the friends you have a platonic(emotional/spiritual) relationship with. You consider them a safe sexual partner.
Just Sex
It is devoid of any real-talk, as one might say, and includes only ‘sex’. Commonly referred to as ‘fuck buddies’.
Network Opportunism
Ever seen Hollywood movies where two people meet at a random party and end up having sex amidst the red cups inside an empty bathtub? Yes, network opportunism is exactly that kind of FWB.
Successful Transition
This is for the ‘lucky’ ones. They know how to take hold of their emotions. Starting with FWB, they successfully transform it into a romantic relationship
Unintentional Transition
They start with FWB initially and promise each other not to include the ‘heart’ thing, but somehow end up loving each other (for obvious reasons) and say ‘yes’ to an officially romantic relationship! Recall the movie ‘Friends with benefits’
Failed Transition
They are good as FWB, but one of the partners is looking forward to a romantic relationship- which the other one doesn’t want, hence leading to a failed transition.
Transition Out
This kind of FWB results when your former partner wants a sexual relationship again but not the unnecessary emotional baggage. You get it!
If you are currently or were in FWB, which of the above-mentioned categories do you classify yourselves in?
Why Are You Looking for FWB?
Not beating about the bush, let’s get to the main point- why are you looking for friends with benefits? It has, aforementioned, a litany of reasons. Let us consider a few of them down below-
Done with the adult drama
Growing up, you realize that love and all its perks aren’t a fairy tale they have their dark sides. Seeing everyone around you happy makes you feel vulnerable and makes you want to love even more. Low-key, you realize that relationships are a waste of time and leave a void inside your mind at such an age where you should be focusing on your career. Therefore, you decide to fulfill your physical needs and remain a stoic when it comes to emotions (because emotions ruin it all most of the time) and voila! You open your doors for FWB.
It’s trendy
No matter how hard you try, your sponge brain takes what the society has to offer you. It is called BANDWAGON EFFECT. The more people around you are involved in FWB, the more likely you will consider one for yourself in the future!
The inability to commit or taking responsibilities
Most people nowadays find it hard to manage their own lives effectively and maybe you are one of them. You are either commitment-phobic or find it excruciating to take someone else’s responsibility, so to keep yourself at bay from all the drama and stick to your all-time favorite- FWB.
‘Friends with benefits’ is just a name; you’re only human!
There is no good or bad relationship as long as the two people participating in it are okay with it. Also, not every relationship can be named. The truth is- we are a population that is influenced heavily by peers and faces a lot of mental health issues. This is the reason why we, sometimes, choose the option that sounds better and less painful to us.
